Spring

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've written anything. There is plenty to keep me from writing - mainly I'm busy and exhausted. But also the weather has improved so we're spending less time at the computer thankfully. I'm picking up extra (daytime) shifts at the hospital as well. This has been a difficult adjustment for me as I am beginning to feel as if I never have a break.

River now has a new Gastroenterologist for whom we are very fond. We drove 2 hours to see her and for good reason. She listened to our concerns, responded and immediately came up with a plan addressing his gastrointestinal needs. What a concept. The plan involves changing his formula (done), taking x-rays of his digestive system (done), adding a new antacid medication (just started), giving him a daily laxative (done), and culturing his stool for an infection (not done). The doc is addressing his reflux as well as possible motility issues. Once we get him more comfortable, she recommended concentrating his formula to give him more calories.

I love plans and I'm glad we have one. At first I thought that things were getting better but now I feel as if they're getting worse again. This is common - we advance a few steps, and go backward a few steps. I don't think we've really made great progress in terms of figuring out why he is so miserable and what we can do about it. I'm discouraged and frustrated and I feel bad for the little guy. He doesn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. The impact this has on his ability to engage with his world is enormous. When he is in pain, he has no tolerance for developmental play. We need to get this fixed, soon.

People are still reaching out, wanting to help. We really appreciate this. Most days we are running very close to empty so dropping off a meal is a tremendous help. I hope some day we can give back to others as generously. Thank you to everyone.

Here's a picture of River in his new Ella Roo sling. I bought it after hurting my back a few weeks ago. It spreads his weight (almost 14 pounds) over both of my shoulders, instead of just one. He still loves being snuggled in a sling.