We are fighting with sleep. River still needs our help to get back to sleep several times each night which wears us down. The level of exhaustion is reminiscent of having a newborn. We're better mommies, partners, friends, and advocates when we're rested. So at 7 months old (yesterday) we're trying to teach him how to get back to sleep by himself. We're still using the pacifier but not picking him up and immediately offering the bottle. It's our latest experiment, hopefully it works.
But what has gotten easier, at least for me, is fitting into the world. I'm less insecure when taking River out for lunch or errands. He is still hypersensitive, and may have an inconsolable screaming episode, but I'm more calm about it. I know that I am doing the best that I can, and until someone has walked in my shoes, they can't possibly understand what is really going on. But most of the time, people aren't judging me, they are feeling sorry for how unhappy River is. What I am learning is that while people don't know the whole story, they are very forgiving, and supportive in the way that strangers can be.
I look forward to watching River grow up in our community. I look forward to people at the co-op getting to know him, cheering him on as he reaches milestones. I want people to know how persistent he is. I want them to know how hard he is working to make sense of his world. River already charms people with is big inquisitive eyes, his pouty lips, and his full head of hair. His expressive face brings smiles wherever we go. I can't wait for people, including myself, to meet the boy behind the face.
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