Appeal

I have an energizer bunny brain. It never shuts off. So it's 10:15 at night, I've had one of the hardest weeks in a long time, am fighting off a cold, yet my brain is still churning, processing. I'm thinking about the appeal process.

Before River was discharged from residential care we requested specific (financial) support in order to care for him at home.  Without getting into all the details, we were given some of the requested funding, but not all.  With the budget we were given, we cannot afford any overnight care.  

The state's reasoning for this decision was that the type of supports we requested, "are designed to support not supplement care by family for minor children." Does that feel like a dig? Are they trying to tell me that I'm asking for too much? That not getting a decent night sleep is part of my responsibility as a parent... of a 10 year old? Most of my friend's 10 year olds are sleeping pretty well, aside from the occasional stomach bug or rowdy sleep over. In fact, they get to sleep at other people's houses. They get up to go to the bathroom on their own, and definitely don't wear diapers. They can get their own snacks.  They can cough without aspirating. They don't need to be monitored for sleep apnea. They can call for help.

I'm fuming. And I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight because I know that River has something going on. He's been coughing more and his breathing doesn't sound good. I would listen to his lungs, except I left my stethoscope at work, and I don't want to be his nurse, I want to be his mom!  

We are appealing the state's decision, but the fact that we have to go through this process, is beyond ridiculous. It's just not what we need right now. 

River's Mummy

Here's a pic from little (big) brother's play tonight. River got to be there, but it was a little overstimulating for him.